Sister Faith

During During the Second World War Le Grand Sein was covertly run by the French Resistance and as such was a well known safe haven for downed RAF pilots. Rumour has it that Winston Churchill affectionately referred to them as, ‘the in Sein nuns with guns’, and was one of the first to pay a personal visit after the war.

Whilst recuperating there from my near loss of courting tackle, some of the elder nuns would regale me with the stories of how they helped the British before D-Day. But I always thought that something was very odd about the sprightly young Sister Faith, she didn’t seem like the other nuns, and it wasn’t until I caught Francoise Merde, the gamekeeper, peeping into her vestry with his Kodak Brownie in hand, that it occurred to me that their undergarments should really be something more practical than French lace. Unless they are in ‘Allo Allo’ of course.

The following day when she came to my room I cautiously questioned her with what I had seen, luckily she decided to trust and confide in me, maybe it was a precaution in case anything should happen to her. It turns out she was on the run from the infamous Riviera drinks cartel boss, Dom Perringon, after stealing the secret to the success of his huge grapes.

Sister Faith and I grew closer over the next few years, she was the one who first called me Randy as a first name (but that’s another story). I saw her as the dark haired temptress of God, and for a boy now in his teens she was a davinchi masterpiece.

I had almost forgotten about her dark secret until one evening the convent kitchen turned into a scene from the OK Coral. The nun’s and I were sitting down to supper when two gunmen wearing pin stripe suites and ridiculous handlebar moustaches, burst through the door with Tommy guns blazing. Everyone instinctively ducked for cover, but I just sat there mesmerized by the sight of Sister Camilla hitching up her Habit and pulling out.... Continued.......